Friday, August 27, 2021

"Non-Tippers" YOU SUCK!

Ok, first and foremost, before I get judged for sounding like I'm apathetic to the impoverished, I want you to know that at one point in my life (12 years ago), I was piss ass poor, had no money to my name and lived off state food benefits for a short period of time.  So I am not apathetic.

But during that time, if my wife and I couldn't afford food delivery (Which we strongly believed in tipping drivers), we didn't order it.  We knew better.

To all you customers out there ordering food delivery and purposely don't tip. SCREW YOU! 

Food delivery platforms like UberEats, GrubHub and DoorDash are not charitable organizations ok.  The people like me who make deliveries signed up to make money, not deliver food at our expense to feed your fat ass! Got it?

If you can't afford to tip a minimum of 18% to your driver then DO NOT EVEN THINK OF GETTING FOOD DELIVERY.  And you also do not deserve the right to complain when your food arrives cold and late.

Let me give you a little inside information for all you non-tippers:

First of all, most drivers with half a brain in their head WILL NOT DELIVER orders with no tip.  And yes, we know exactly when those orders show up on our phones.  

When we get a ping on our phone to deliver your McDonalds or Taco Bell slop for a $2.25 payout..we know damn well it doesn't include a tip.  We can't help but chuckle and hit the 'Decline' button. Would you deliver A Big Mac for $2.25 5 miles away in 30 minutes time? That works out to be under $5 an hour!!! I DIDN'T THINK SO!!!

You know what happens when one or more drivers decline orders?  It get's passed around until either some sucker who doesn't know any better accepts it or finally a driver accepts it, but by that time (The food is probably already cold or melted) the payout has increased to an acceptable level.  There have been numerous times where I've gone to pick up food at the same restaurant several times within several hours and seen the same order sitting there getting cold and old waiting to be picked up because the customer is too DAMN CHEAP TO TIP.

So if you want your order delivered hot (Or cold if it's ice cream), on time and per your instructions with exceptional service then YOU NEED TO TIP YOUR DRIVER AT LEAST 18%!!!!

If you do not do this, then you get exactly the service you deserve.  Because drivers who accept no tip orders are incompetent to begin with.

Now, this doesn't apply to you customers who tip graciously (And for some unknown reason the driver never receives the full amount).  That's not your fault or the drivers fault and I encourage you to take it up with the app service.  Better yet, I encourage you to tip at the door (Leave a note in the order that you will be providing a cash tip).

But I will say a DOUBLE SCREW you if you bait and switch a driver by putting in an order with a decent tip, then taking it away after delivery even though the driver gave you exceptional service.

MAY YOU ROT IN HELL.

Also, this does not apply to you if a driver gives you shitty service. In UberEats you can take away the tip.  In the other app platforms you usually can get a credit towards your next order.  

DRIVERS THERE'S NO EXCUSE NOT TO DELIVER QUALITY SERVICE TO YOUR CUSTOMERS. If you want to avoid providing bad service due to low tipping-DECLINE ALL NON-TIPPING ORDERS.

So do not give them a reason to excuse shitty or no tip orders.

'Nuff said!

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"Non-Tippers" YOU SUCK!

Ok, first and foremost, before I get judged for sounding like I'm apathetic to the impoverished, I want you to know that at one point in...